The Little Mermaid Is A Little Slut

All along Manhattan’s West Side Highway last night, I was sexually harassed by the billboards promoting the latest release of Disney’s diva of the deep’s double D’s…excuse me… DVD. Yes that’s right folks; back again are the syrupy, sentimental songs and the curvaceous cartoons. Why does every Disney heroine have to be stacked?! Talk about pressure on women and young girls, it’s hard to live up to real women nonetheless fictional characters.

Do you remember Disney’s POCAHONTAS? Despite the many historical inaccuracies in the film, the legend is that she was very attractive but there’s nothing in the history books about her being a size zero with large breasts, a tiny waste and a great booty. But that’s the image we all saw there on the screen. What made me even sicker about it that year was my little 5-year-old niece going around with a stuffed bra and long wig as the young Powhatan for Halloween! When I asked Anna what Pocahontas was famous for she replied, “Modeling.”

Think of all the lame, co-dependent, large breasted and suffering from learned-helplessness female characters that Disney has immortalized in film: Cinderella (just get a job and get out bitch!); Snow White (who keeps house for little, retarded men – Lifetime should have made her story); and who could forget that other male sexual, fantasy icon – Jessica from ROGER RABBIT. Heck, I swear even THE LION KING’S Nala had big tits!

We had a play date with Lily’s new friend from school yesterday. When I came back from the bathroom, much to my dismay THE LITTLE MERMAID was on the TV and Lily was entranced. I politely asked Kayla’s mom to turn off the indoctrination and put Maisy back on. At least Maisy is more accurately proportioned – she’s a little girl mouse so she has no boobs and her tail isn’t exceedingly long nor phallic. I tried not to judge them for possessing a copy of this rubbish but I think she judged me more, she gave me that awww-they’re-just-jealous look. PS – It’s a play date not a play your DVD’s date.

And how does Ariel with those huge breasts keep that strapless bikini up anyway?! I've been a legal 38-B for years and even my little bee-stings can't prevent a strapless bikini from falling. I was humiliated twice this past summer at the local public pool when I emerged from the kiddie pool topless. That's when I invested in a tankini.

And how come there's no male character from Disney with a huge bulge by now?! Aren't they interested in the female audience's dollar? Hey Disney, women are consumers too....so give us a little something something.

Anyway, I thought this Ariel character had faded into the a-nnals (emphasis on anal) of film history by now. Unfortunately, she’s back to tempt our husbands while they stand at the cash register of your local drug store fishing for change their eyes catch a glimpse of this fish and they’re hooked. Now I can officially say Eckerd, Rite Aid and Wal-Mart are peddling porn.

PS - Let me know your favorite hapless, female Disney character!! I really want to know. Write back please.

October 19, 2006 at 10:27am | Permalink | Comments (144)

Comments

i couldn't agree with you more. i tried to get my kids to watch the 'whale rider', to which my kids kept saying, 'mommy why does that girl look like a boy?' i ripped the dvd out of the player and told them they were missing the point. where are all the old, good cartoons for kids like, 'fat albert'? i like it when men have bigger breasts than me. it allows me to go for that extra donut.

Posted by becky donohue on October 19 at 10:04pm

What about Belle, from the Beauty and the Beast claim to fame?

Posted by Adrienne on October 20 at 01:46am

Snowwhite was flat chested, but the movie was made in 1939. And no Nala does not have boobs (I checked.)

Posted by AkCopGirl on October 20 at 02:23am

AtCopGirl - You may be right about Snow White's flat chestedness - it was made during the Great Depression.
Becky - You're Hilarious!!!!!!
Adrienne - That bloody Belle gets on my nerves too!
Thanks for your comments ladies, they were fun.

Posted by Sherry Davey on October 20 at 08:39am

I'm pretty young (21) but my parents would not let us watch Disney movies. The first one I saw was 101 Dalmations and once my grandma bought us Cinderella but that is it. I don't think I have ever watched any other Disney animation in its entirety.

So I guess my favorite character would be Cinderella.

Posted by Katie Mae on October 20 at 10:04am

i think they should rewrite beauty and the beast so the fat old lady teapot gets the beast/prince in the end.

Posted by nell on October 20 at 10:55am

I have 3 daughters: 17, 17, and 10 years old. We can't stand Ariel! At 16, she decides that she wants to change to a new species because she saw a cute male of that species! How lame is that?!
Belle, on the other hand, is smart, selfless, and funny--and the music to Beauty and the Beast is fabulous! (Gaston: "And every last inch of me's covered with HAIR!") Another fave at our house is Tarzan--good music, Jane's a hoot, and Tarzan is a pretty cute cartoon guy!
Ciao!
-Jane

Posted by Jane on October 20 at 03:28pm

So funny! I have disney playing cards and one of my guy friends constantly goes off on the sluttiness of the disney princesses. (Snow White may be flat chested but she also sleeps with ten little men.) Mulan is probably the least, but then again, she more or less cross dresses with trying to be a man. Either way though, I still like Disney. Its better than Barbie!

Posted by Kate on October 23 at 03:05pm

I guess my favorite Disney would have to be Mary Poppins... simple and sweet... and just fun to watch. There was a time when a story was going around about why Disney cast all these movies without Mommies.. due to Walt Disney's own mom dying.. There are quiet a few Disney flicks w/NO mommie, and talk of Mommie dying or Nanny's raising children.
I'm not a big fan of Disney.....I think its a giant Money Pit.. Give me Sesame Street any day(now I have issues w/Calliou(sp).......

Posted by KimBerly on October 23 at 06:36pm

A lot of Hollywood movies have no "mother" figure in them. I call it Patriarchal Phenomena Projection onto our own and our childrens' minds.
Movies have the power to congor and shape our perceptions of what the world is like. Fear-based.
I think its very healthy, and the best thing possible to have healthy communication - like you there Jane - discuss the ideas presented in the movies; be able to take an objective stance and make ones own mind.
I'd even go so far as say critically analyse! There seems to be a need arising here for movies/cartoons that nurture our selves and reflect positive role models for our girls especially. What happened to Sccoby Doo (oh and Thelma had rather large breasts too)?
I now turn on the TV and its always those flippin Pokemons trying to kill each other and destroy things. My latest pet Hate is Fee fee and the flower tots. Nice One isn't it? A female role model who is as dumb as dog sh*t, forgets things all the time and wanders around like a bimbo space cadet. Yay top stuff!!not

Posted by Natalie on October 27 at 02:38am

I think ya'll are missing the point. These Disney movies are either based on fairy tales or just imaginary stories that are meant to be simple, sweet and entertaining. It's true that the cartoons have the typical big boobs tiny waist, but that's not the point. Sleeping beauty and Cinderella both had normal size breasts and waists. When I was a child, I never looked at the boob size- I just wanted to be a princess. While it's true things have gone to the extreme today, most Disney films (the Little Mermaid is selfish) are just sweet fairy tales to be enjoyed. There's nothing wrong with a little escapism.

Posted by The Blonde Duck on October 29 at 10:23am

I don't know, Blonde Duck, Cindy and Briar Rose's waists were preety tiny. But you're right, the boobs didn't get over-the-top until the new princesses came around in the 80's/90's. I'm 21, and I remember being obsessed with the Little Mermaid for years --the only Disney video my mother ever actually purchased,-- and she commented on the ridiculousness of her figure to me; "Her head's the size of her hips!" But even as a little kid, I knew that it was a cartoon, and real women shouldn't look like Ariel any more than men should look like Gaston (and who would want them to??). Pocahontas is the one that bothers me. The figure is extreme, but they've also put a historical figure and member of a highly-religious and dignified culture in a strapless mini-dress.

PS. Sherry, if your husband is oggling the body of a kid's cartoon character at the check-out, Disney's probably not the one you should be concerned about! ;) j/k

Posted by Emily on November 03 at 07:54am

Oh my god... get a LIFE!

only an american could think of something this stupid!

No little girl thinks about the boob size of the characters in these movies...

PLEASE GET A LIFE!

Posted by Sharon on November 12 at 01:49pm

Dude. Its a cartoon.
Its not meant to be taken seriously. If you're really worried about the image disney gives off you have too much time on your hands, and maybe have your own insecurities. hell, when I was young I wanted to be a disney princess too, but that stuff doesnt really stick forever.

Posted by Abby on November 16 at 12:50am

The last two comments were too harsh. While children don't look at breast sizes on cartoons like this chick's husband does, we do grow up with this idea in the back of our heads. Like Barbie, what we idolize is what we wanna be. We have to look the part to be a princess, so maybe someone will fall for us with one look and take us away on a white horse. It's all bullshit yes, but it does effect self-esteem and body image. I was never concerned with breasts because at 13 I was 5'8 100 pounds and a D cup, but I was terribly obsessed with my weight. I don't know what caused it, but Ariel and Briar Rose and Snow White with their perfect figures make me SICK!

Posted by Dolly on February 16 at 09:05am

im a 13 year old girl, who is quite flat myself. i would look at all the women in the magazines and was very jelous.
but, even worse than all the 'rolemodels' that these girls look up, we had the disney movies that all the little girls loved.
it made me feel quite ugly.
and ashamed of myself.
i think its horrible what they make the cartoons look like.
ruined the movies for me.

Posted by sarah on April 27 at 07:10pm

You are all so stupid, and what type of mother would use that type of language and then say "oh the disney princesses boobs are too big" whaa whaa whaaa!!! Who cares get over yourself, you big loser. By the way I LOVE the Little mermaid.

Posted by Nonya on May 09 at 05:19pm

Wow! As a child and as an adult I've never concentrated on the breast size of any cartoon character. It is called fiction for a reason and Disney isn't going anywhere anytime soon so you shouldn't get so worked up about it. I think a child's confidence comes from the parents not a cartoon, if you want a confident child then build them up. Don't make them question the meaning of a favorite cartoon or deprive them of something they like because of your own insecurities remember the best part of being a parent is that you get the opportunity to help your children grow up better than you, not worse!

Posted by Wendy on May 18 at 07:07pm

YOU ARE ALL LAME!

i have massive boobs myself (no butt and no hips) and i dont complain!! DISNEY IS CHAMPION! from the youngest i cant rmemeber i watched disney and wanted to be a princess! the little mermaid is the best no matter what you say because each movie has a message to thre kids this is not how big boobs are or how small or big a waist is, it the fact that they stand up for what they beleive and the goodies always win. tey hard and just be yourslef!!

GET A LIFE GUYS!!

Posted by KIM AND BELLE! on June 13 at 10:35pm

this is the most retarded discussion I have ever heard. POKEMON is a kids show, and is actually nonviolent. as said before on this page, get a life >×

Posted by bob on June 23 at 05:21pm

i like the little mermaid, you all are the people who ruin the lives of people for no reason why dont you just shut up and just leave it alone get a job if you have enough time on your hands to complain about kids cartoons GET A LIFE

Posted by bob on June 23 at 05:27pm

Honestly i believe Disney is the last thing children should be worried about. I grew up on all the classics and for me I have large breats and growing up i never wanted them. Girls today are going to judge there bodies no matter what if there flat they want big, if big they want to be flat. Skinny is everywhere not just in disney. It's just the way it is. But not letting them watch a disney movie because you think a 5 year old will notice brest size seems VERY little stupid to me. Like i said every teenage girl will judge there bodies because they dont feel normal and try to compare themselves to normal some cartoon that they watched as a kid or didnt watch doesnt chage they fact that they will compare them selves to normal. That is just a normal human action we ALL do it everyday with or without disney.

Posted by alex on July 12 at 04:31am

I agree with Alex, Bob and Kim above. I also think the title of this article is ridiculous.

Posted by Debra on August 20 at 05:39pm

I'm a 22 year old guy and I can tell you these movies influence perceptions of more than just little girls. Growing up the little mermaid and roger rabbit were my favorite movies because I couldn't take my eyes off of those women. I swear to god. It was better than porn when i was a teenager. I always told my parents that I loved Sebastian's songs, but Ariel's sea shells hypnotized me as an 8 year old. I don't think I could have been more attracted to her if she was topless.
Despite all of this, I really do think these Disney movies were absolutely great stories with the best animation. After the Lion King was released The Little Mermaid was never to top my Disney list again... (and not because Nala had 8 nipples).

Posted by Joe on October 30 at 10:16pm

This post is ridiculous.

Posted by Sammy on March 09 at 06:15am

I'm 14 and I'm small. VERY small. I HATE all the annoyingly sick princesses with the perfect chest and perfect this and I just want to go out and KILL someone over it! For crying out loud, you can't have a good story, like the Hunchback of Norte Dame without a big boobed Gypsy! My favorite would have to be wendy, because even though she's a kid (she's been recorded in the disney files to be 14) her chest isn't oversized. Just slightly a puff. Honestly! And do any of the princes have names? Theres...lets see...snow white's, cinderella's, and belle's "prince charming"s...and yet when you ask each how prince charming'd doing while at disneyland, they tell you to ask cinderella! I mean COME ON! Snow White clearly sings "anyone could see that the prince was CHARMING"...and its just friking annoying.

P.S.- sorry for all the rambling!

Posted by Bella on March 15 at 07:19pm

no mames!
yo posteare en español!
busquen un diccionario si no entienden xD aahhaha
pero
estan bn PENDEJOS
xDDD
opino iwal!!
consiganse una vidaa
de niños jamaz nos fijamos en las boobs xD

den un tema realmente interesante y no tan estupido xD
lol

Posted by Fer xDD on April 26 at 12:56am

y la niña de 14 xD


no tuvo infancia ahahaha

a los 20 va a estar mas amargada que un limon

Posted by Fer de nuevo xD on April 26 at 12:58am

This is incredibly ridiculous. No 4 year old is going to notice the size of a Disney characters CHEST SIZE. Honestly? Disney is probably the best movie makers in the world and they aren't going ANYWHERE. Around since the 1930's, you people are too blinded to notice these movies are revolved around finding true love and who you are, not who's hips are big and whose chest is biggest. Come on, get a life.

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About Me

I'm Sherry Davey -- I’m English, a working comedian and the mother of a three-nager. If you’re thinking Nanny 911 just think…911. If it’s advice you seek you’re in the wrong place but laughs I do provide. Think of me as your “sanity saver.”

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